3 min read

Sometimes the subject changes while the conflict stays remarkably similar. Understanding the cycle underneath the argument can help couples see what keeps pulling them back into familiar roles.

It starts with the dishes.

Or money.

Or a text that was not answered.

Or something one person said at dinner three days ago.

Twenty minutes later, neither of you is really talking about the original issue.

One person is trying harder and harder to get an answer. The other is becoming increasingly defensive or quiet. Eventually, someone shuts down, leaves, or says something they regret.

Later, both people wonder how they ended up there again.